Darkside Article Feature: Crossdresser, Transgender, Drag Queen, Sissy—What’s the Difference?

Ms Ava Durga’s NEW article in Darkside Magazine is OUT! 

Here is an excerpt:

To the uninformed, crossdressers and transgender women seem pretty much the same: people born with penises who wear feminine or female-defined clothes. They shop at the same stores. They have similar wardrobe challenges. Like all genders, they run the gamut from plain Janes to mouthwateringly sexy. But the similarities end there.

The identities, motivators, needs, and preferences of crossdressers are different from those of transwomen, yet those groups are commonly shoved under the same umbrella. Both groups grow frustrated with being lumped together on dating sites, on porn sites, and by the public. It’s important to know the difference.

Let’s start with the most basic distinction: Crossdressers, Transwomen, and Drag Queens

A transgender woman or transfeminine person is designated male at birth (born with a penis), but identifies internally as female or a blend of genders (gender-fluid). She feels this way regardless of how she’s dressed or whether she’s had hormones or surgery. This is her identity. She dresses in women’s clothes because it reflects who she is. (Note: I’m using female pronouns because my transfemme friends typically prefer “she/her” over the neutral, ambiguous “they/them.” It acknowledges their femininity and is linguistically clearer. However, if in doubt, it’s good form to ask someone about their preferred pronoun.)

A transwoman’s romantic and erotic life typically centers on her as a whole person, not on her gender status or sexuality. On dating sites, she’s more likely to be interested in a relationship than to be a checkmark on someone’s sexual bucket list. This is one reason transwomen and CDs alike find it frustrating to be treated as a homogenous group on “transgender” dating, hookup, and porn sites: it confuses the men who want to date or play with them. Relatively few transwomen like being fetishized for it—although some certainly do at appropriate times, and a few with special genetic gifts make a fine living doing so.

The terminology used for various groups within the transgender community can be complex and politically sensitive, and is beyond the scope of this article. A good reference for learning more is at https://www.glaad.org/reference/transgender.

Drag queens are men (typically, but not always, gay) who impersonate women as an art form for public entertainment, such as at drag shows or other events. Think RuPaul.

This article will talk mostly about crossdressers. These are straight or bisexual men who wear women’s clothes for personal pleasure: sensation, recreation, relaxation, and/or erotic fantasy. His dressing may be limited to lingerie or extend to full transformation including wigs, makeup, and accessories. He identifies as male and doesn’t want to live as a woman—except during playtime.

A cross-dresser who’s dressed en femme and in feminine headspace uses female pronouns and is referred to as “she/her.” Once the masculine drab clothes go back on, the CD again becomes “he.” She’ll often have a feminine name (“sissy name” or “gurl name”)—and If she doesn’t, she needs one immediately! These names are often bestowed by a beloved Mistress or playmate and cherished for a lifetime.

During playtime, the CD’s penis becomes a “clitty.” The nipples are “titties” or “breasts.” The anus is referred to as a “pussy,” “rosebud,” and other colorful words. This is especially true of sissies.

Crossdressing is often focused on the erotic and/or submissive experience, especially among those who visit Mistresses or frequent BDSM events. The guy coming into a dungeon for a session that eroticizes feminization and/or considers it humiliating is more likely to be a crossdresser than transgender.

To simplify: for a transwoman, being female is who she is. She dresses and comports herself to reflect what’s inside. Crossdressers step into feminine clothes and female roles for personal pleasure, comfort, and play… and then step out again. It’s a place they visit, not a permanent home.

And those visits can be such fun!

To read the rest of the article go here: https://www.darksidemagazine.com/post/crossdresser-transgender-drag-queen-sissy-what-s-the-difference

By Domina Doll

Hey Beauties! I am a Certified Sexpert, sex writer, as well as a Passion, Pleasure & Empowerment Coach for evolving Goddesses. I am interested in SEX (obviously) from a scientific POV, and how it all works in our brains and body's. I also love sex magick, orgasmic manifesting, Goddess feminine archetypes and how we can use them to empower ourselves. I also love teaching about Shakti Magic and how to harness our feminine energy, Kundalini, Chakras, energy healing and energy orgasms! Yeah! Say hi, add me as a friend, if you like my vibe :)

7 thoughts on “Darkside Article Feature: Crossdresser, Transgender, Drag Queen, Sissy—What’s the Difference?

  • ChrissyReams

    Thank you for sharing this Domina. A lot of great points in there that I can’t deny, only agree wholeheartedly.
    Ava you know us all to well.

    • Domina Doll

      Yes, Ava is amazing! An excellent article! Thank you for your comments Chrissy! <3

    • Ava Durga

      Thank you, Chrissy–and thank you for posting, Domina!

      I may know sissies well, but they’re also a source of endless surprise, delight, and novelty.


      • Sabrina James

        Well written explanation of the differential between each seemingly similar gender identities. I started xx at eight years of age, today at 60 I feel uncomfortable as a CD, feeling closer to a transgendered MTF woman that desires living 24/7 as a femininely as close to reality, with the help of castration 💃💃💃🌈🐦

      • Svetlana Brewski

        Oh how i wish to meet You in person once i relocate and as soon as You’re scheduling in-person appointments and this pandemic is over.

        As Peter Frampton sings, “Won’t You, show me the way”!

  • Jolette

    Great article….
    Jolette is learning…. slowly…. there is much to learn..:)

    Ms. Ava thankyou for the knowledge
    Domina Doll thank you for posting


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