Dear Ms. Ava,
I’ve been crossdressing for 5 years and am beginning to get comfortable going out, but I keep wondering how this affects my sexuality. When I dress, I love getting looks from men, and recently I’ve had a couple of fun rendezvous with real men. Does this make me gay, bisexual, confused, or just prove that I know how to have fun? ~ J
First… yes, you do know how to have fun!
The subject of labels can be touchy and emotionally charged. I don’t mind them; labels serve as useful shorthand to help understand someone in broad strokes. But they can also take up tons of mind space. This particular question creates an astonishing amount of brain churn among crossdressers and sissies.
I’m not a sexuality lexicographer, but IMHO the deciding factors for the sexuality “label” you choose are (i) what you consider your gender to be; (ii) who you’re attracted to, and under what circumstances; and (iii) what feels good to you.
Here are my general definitions:
Do you identify as male but enjoy wearing women’s clothes? Are you attracted only to women, and don’t desire cock, regardless of how you’re dressed? You’re a straight crossdresser. When you’re en femme, though, you might think of yourself as a lesbian.
Do you identify as a straight male, but when you’re in panties, or in a feminized state of mind, your thoughts turn to pleasing cock… to being on your knees or your back, submitting to a superior person with a penis (real or simulated), and likely enamored with cum? You’re clearly a sissy. When you dive into sissy space, you go deep. The stunt cock or the male pursuer are props in your fantasy of being a sexy, desirable woman. Once you strip off the lipstick and panties and leave that mental space, you leave behind most thoughts of cock. Until next time.
Here’s the most important thing about labels, J: don’t let them limit you.
As a CD or sissy, you’re a more complex creature than most… too colorful to be painted by number.
Call yourself whatever you like, whether for the convenience of others or to reflect your own self-concept. It’s just a word. You are you. Be considerate, look your best, and be honest about what you want. That will carry more meaning than the label you adopt.
Crossdressing readers: Do you consider yourself straight, bisexual, pansexual, gay, or other, and why? Please comment below and/or take this quick survey:
“Ask Ms. Ava: Your Sissy & Crossdressing Questions Answered by a Sensual Loving Mistress” is a regular column by Ms. Ava Durga.
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